Friday, March 13, 2009

Of marriage and broken promises

I was on my way home when I got a text message from someone who has been a friend for more than 20 years - I was stupefied when I read her text. It wasn't addressed to me, in fact it was addressed to someone who must have done her a big wrong for her to earn her wrath. I sent her a text reply asking for clarification. I told her that it should not have been sent to me, as I don't recall myself being a mistress to anybody (more so her husband). I wonder what she meant by it. She replied immediately telling me that it was really meant for me. It was actually the same text message that she sent back to her husband's mistress and she wanted me to know about it. And it dawned on me that my friend was actually opening up to me at that very minute her well-kept secret. I told her that she could have picked a better opportune time as I was trying my best to balance myself aboard the jampacked LRT. The young girl beside me, whose face was just inches away from me, gave me a queer look, torn between branding me a mistress or not, as I don't look the part at all. That text was followed by more than 50 text messages, with my friend pouring out her heart and anger. I imagine her beating the speed of the fastest typist in Recto while keying the letters on her celfone's keyboard.

My friend has been married for 9 years now (she prefers to use the term "was married"). She was in her early 30's when she got married. They met at work. She has always been the jolly type, the one whom I thought would stay single for the rest of her life as that was what she preferred then. But Cupid decided to fire his love arrow at my friend's heart, and she fell in love with this creature (duh, I can't even call him a man). I can still recall their afternoon wedding held in one of the gardens at then Nayong Pilipino. It was a very beautiful day, and not a few visitors shed tears as the couple promised to love one another "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do they part" while in the background, the sweet melody of Maureen McGovern's The Promise (I'll Never Say Goodbye) was being played. Cheesy me cried that time until I saw the photographer focusing on me and I smiled. :)

After more than a year, they were blessed with a baby girl. My friend continued to be a working mom, balancing personal life with a blossoming career in the corporate world. Through the years, I witnessed her joys of being a mom and wife. Let me emphasize "joys" because I never came to know of her experiencing any "pain" in her married life. We tried our best to meet as often as we could, together with our ex-boss, who has since retired from the office where we all met and became friends, more than 20 years ago. It was a joy to listen to her stories, and judging from her looks and her stories, I would say that she was fulfilled. After a few years in the corporate world, my friend decided to become a full time mom and wife. It was a decision that surprised me much, but then not many women could make such sacrifice. After all, his husband is gainfully employed, and in addition, they established a sub-contracting company complete with all-in-one hardware store. They have a joint bank account and my friend was wonderfully secure in the arms of "the creature".

The "mini-reunion" continued through the years, sometimes as often as every two months, and a few times, "the creature" joined us and I must say that I didn't even sense anything wrong with their relationship - until the day my friend sent me the text message.

Apparently, sometime in November 2008, "the creature" asked for some "space" in their relationship and told my friend that he needs counseling in order to make their marriage more solid. My friend gave him the "space" he needed, only for her to discover later that he seemingly had a different interpretation of the word "space". All his clothes were gone, together with all their savings in the bank. My friend was astonished - she found herself abandoned and almost broke. As expected, "the creature" came back sometime in December and they had a civil talk. "The creature" told my friend that he plans to stay with his family while undergoing counseling and my friend respected that decision. They both agreed for "the creature" to pick up their only child from home every Friday and spend the weekend with him.

It was from the child from whom my friend discovered that "the creature" was now into a new relationship. By then the mistress was staying over "the creature's" other house for a few days, with "the creature's" mother and siblings tolerating this arrangement. My friend's child blurted out the secret to my friend and cried her heart out and asked why her new "Tita" is very close to her dad and they're both "acting strange". The nerve! And my friend's child is only 7 years old, take note.

If Rambo could see my friend, he sure would have asked my friend to take part on his movie's sequel. If words could kill, then "the creature's" other house would have been ashes by now.

Three months later, my friend decided to open up to me and our ex-boss. By now, she's into a full-blown fight with the mistress, who has since gained much confidence basking in the so called glory of being chosen over the original wife. But the mistress should take heed, "basking" is only one letter different from "bashing", which is exactly what my friend is raring to do to that woman's head. But ever the "girlie" one, I could say that my friend would only do so if Hello Kitty (Japan) comes out with a baseball bat, pink edition.

After personally talking to my friend for hours and in the process gaining two pounds over a sumptuous meal of Norwegian salmon pasta and egg mayo sandwich from Delifrance, which we finished off with Four Seasons juice and then hopping off to a nearby coffee shop for a brownie and a cup of coffee, I can say that my friend would surely survive the departure of "the creature" from their nest. Yes, she was teary eyed a few times during our conversation but she quickly recovered and I could honestly say that it was not a put-on, she really is a brave woman. Her daughter is a survivor too, having been raised by my friend as an independent-minded child. I can surmise that they will be both okay, in due time.

As for "the creature" and his mistress (named Em), well I can just wish them both some luck. Even Cupid makes mistakes you know, and someday, Cupid's missus will certainly discover the mistake that Cupid has done and she will take away the love arrow from these two undeserving creatures, and what happens next? Well, even Darth Vader needs something to do to occupy his time. Perhaps he could practice his laser sword on these two creatures.....


Anonymous said...

"Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it" - Psalm 127:1. Marriages and family is the prime target of the devil. He knows that once he destroys a family, the society will eventually collapse. That is why it is very important to keep the Lord Jesus Christ at the center and foundation of our marriage, of our home and family. If He is the center, every storm can be weathered, and there would always be hope for restoration and reconciliation.

Len said...

Ms Lai, I once wrote a blog article with anonymous characters but it was discovered by the antagonist in the story and I got a mouthful and on-line argument! :-( It wasn't a story like this but a bullying story - myself being bullied. I regretted it and deleted it from my blog.

I hope your readers learn lessons from this story. Its good to know you don't have any judgment on morality and just blamed Cupid for all of what's happening. I do hope that your friend finds a new love, one that will be true to her for life.

Cheers Ms Lai!