It was more than a month ago when my loyal laundrywoman, Aling Elsa, told me that her daughter is getting married in a civil ceremony and that she would be happy if I would be one of the godmothers. I readily said yes to her, though I am not that close to her daughter, and I will only get to meet the groom on the wedding day itself. As days passed, intermittently, Aling Elsa would remind me of the wedding date and would give me bits and pieces of updates on the wedding preparation.
Today is their big day. The rains last night refused to dampen the spirit of Aling Elsa and her relatives in preparing for the wedding party. While in the process of raiding my kitchen cabinets to borrow dish containers, she again reminded me for the nth time of the wedding.
My husband and I promptly arrived at the Mayor's Office of the Montalban Municipal Hall at 9am. In my 28 years of stay here in this municipality, it was actually my first time to step into the premises of our municipal hall.
We proceeded to a room full of people. My eagle eye immediately surveyed the faces and I was amused with the different expressions of people in the room - couples who obviously appear nervous, a few wearing their best Sunday dresses, while a few choosing to wear simple clothes, even jeans. There were mothers who, even on the wedding day of their children, seem like stage mothers, wiping the perspiration of their children, asking questions every now and then. Fathers were their usual selves - sitting comfortably and wearing tired expressions on their faces, as if saying "blah, blah, blah, let's get it over and done with". And of course, the godmothers and godfathers who have been chosen by the couples to be their second parents, but quite ironically, they often know the parents better than they know the children who are getting married. I hurriedly looked at the couples and noticed two brides with bulging stomachs. I also saw a groom who looks barely 20 years old and who actually seems to be getting his first communion, rather than getting married.
Finally, the official from the Mayor's Office tasked to unite them came out. Everyone was silent - for 3 seconds flat - after which the animated banter resumed. The official called each and every name of the bride and groom, and launched into a long list of reminders as to why everyone was in the room. If I'm not mistaken, ten times he asked the couples if they are really sure with what they are doing because their papers show that most of them are quite young, with one couple requiring parental consent. He boldly asked how many are already living in, and how many are not. The couples all answered as honestly, and bravely, as they can, all the while holding each other's hands. When he announced the final question - "Are you really ready for this?", the room became silent again, and nobody from among the couples answered, which prompted a parent to say "Answer him "yes" so we can proceed". He reasoned out that it is doubly expensive to have a marriage annulled, so they should be 110% sure of what they are entering into.
As the wedding ceremony went on, I couldn't help but study the faces of the couples. I could see love in their eyes, but I couldn't help but say a silent prayer for them to be strong enough to handle the trials that married couples usually undergo. They've got a really long way to go. By this time, a number of parents and godparents are already asleep (so much for witnessing a momentous event in their children's lives).
As the official was about to ask the couples to wear the wedding rings, we all heard the persistent ringing of a celfone to the tune of I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore by Reo Speedwagon. The celfone turned out to be that of the official. He answered the call (this really shocked me) and asked his friend to call after 15 minutes.
Finally, the moment came - the official announced "you may kiss the bride" and the room was filled with shouts of glee, in the process waking up those who were sleeping. Pictures were taken, and the official asked the couples to kiss the hands of their parents and godparents. The groom that I am sponsoring had difficulty finding me as he only met me that morning. I was surprised when a mother who was beside me brushed away the hands of one couple. She just refused to acknowledge them which made the bride teary eyed. I wanted to tell her "Girl, welcome to reality."
For me, getting married, whether through a simple ceremony or a lavish one, requires not only love but also determination to sustain that love. It's a partnership through and through- the yin and the yang - the beginning and the end - the cause and the reason. The world would have been much happier if all married couples would follow what the Bible always reminds us of - "Love is patient and kind". As Randolph Ray once said, he would like to have engraved inside every wedding band “Be kind to one another”. It is exactly the Golden Rule secret of all marriages.
As I'm writing this blog, my dear Aling Elsa would have been flat out in her bed, sleeping, after a long day of taking care of wedding guests. Guests would have been on their way home by now. The married couple would now be on their honeymoon. And tomorrow, when everyone wakes up, they will all remember today as just the beginning of the couple's long life together, which, God willing, would be a wonderful one.
“I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
a church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
he said one that would make me his wife.”
-- Author Unknown
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Of marriage and broken promises
I was on my way home when I got a text message from someone who has been a friend for more than 20 years - I was stupefied when I read her text. It wasn't addressed to me, in fact it was addressed to someone who must have done her a big wrong for her to earn her wrath. I sent her a text reply asking for clarification. I told her that it should not have been sent to me, as I don't recall myself being a mistress to anybody (more so her husband). I wonder what she meant by it. She replied immediately telling me that it was really meant for me. It was actually the same text message that she sent back to her husband's mistress and she wanted me to know about it. And it dawned on me that my friend was actually opening up to me at that very minute her well-kept secret. I told her that she could have picked a better opportune time as I was trying my best to balance myself aboard the jampacked LRT. The young girl beside me, whose face was just inches away from me, gave me a queer look, torn between branding me a mistress or not, as I don't look the part at all. That text was followed by more than 50 text messages, with my friend pouring out her heart and anger. I imagine her beating the speed of the fastest typist in Recto while keying the letters on her celfone's keyboard.
My friend has been married for 9 years now (she prefers to use the term "was married"). She was in her early 30's when she got married. They met at work. She has always been the jolly type, the one whom I thought would stay single for the rest of her life as that was what she preferred then. But Cupid decided to fire his love arrow at my friend's heart, and she fell in love with this creature (duh, I can't even call him a man). I can still recall their afternoon wedding held in one of the gardens at then Nayong Pilipino. It was a very beautiful day, and not a few visitors shed tears as the couple promised to love one another "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do they part" while in the background, the sweet melody of Maureen McGovern's The Promise (I'll Never Say Goodbye) was being played. Cheesy me cried that time until I saw the photographer focusing on me and I smiled. :)
After more than a year, they were blessed with a baby girl. My friend continued to be a working mom, balancing personal life with a blossoming career in the corporate world. Through the years, I witnessed her joys of being a mom and wife. Let me emphasize "joys" because I never came to know of her experiencing any "pain" in her married life. We tried our best to meet as often as we could, together with our ex-boss, who has since retired from the office where we all met and became friends, more than 20 years ago. It was a joy to listen to her stories, and judging from her looks and her stories, I would say that she was fulfilled. After a few years in the corporate world, my friend decided to become a full time mom and wife. It was a decision that surprised me much, but then not many women could make such sacrifice. After all, his husband is gainfully employed, and in addition, they established a sub-contracting company complete with all-in-one hardware store. They have a joint bank account and my friend was wonderfully secure in the arms of "the creature".
The "mini-reunion" continued through the years, sometimes as often as every two months, and a few times, "the creature" joined us and I must say that I didn't even sense anything wrong with their relationship - until the day my friend sent me the text message.
Apparently, sometime in November 2008, "the creature" asked for some "space" in their relationship and told my friend that he needs counseling in order to make their marriage more solid. My friend gave him the "space" he needed, only for her to discover later that he seemingly had a different interpretation of the word "space". All his clothes were gone, together with all their savings in the bank. My friend was astonished - she found herself abandoned and almost broke. As expected, "the creature" came back sometime in December and they had a civil talk. "The creature" told my friend that he plans to stay with his family while undergoing counseling and my friend respected that decision. They both agreed for "the creature" to pick up their only child from home every Friday and spend the weekend with him.
It was from the child from whom my friend discovered that "the creature" was now into a new relationship. By then the mistress was staying over "the creature's" other house for a few days, with "the creature's" mother and siblings tolerating this arrangement. My friend's child blurted out the secret to my friend and cried her heart out and asked why her new "Tita" is very close to her dad and they're both "acting strange". The nerve! And my friend's child is only 7 years old, take note.
If Rambo could see my friend, he sure would have asked my friend to take part on his movie's sequel. If words could kill, then "the creature's" other house would have been ashes by now.
Three months later, my friend decided to open up to me and our ex-boss. By now, she's into a full-blown fight with the mistress, who has since gained much confidence basking in the so called glory of being chosen over the original wife. But the mistress should take heed, "basking" is only one letter different from "bashing", which is exactly what my friend is raring to do to that woman's head. But ever the "girlie" one, I could say that my friend would only do so if Hello Kitty (Japan) comes out with a baseball bat, pink edition.
After personally talking to my friend for hours and in the process gaining two pounds over a sumptuous meal of Norwegian salmon pasta and egg mayo sandwich from Delifrance, which we finished off with Four Seasons juice and then hopping off to a nearby coffee shop for a brownie and a cup of coffee, I can say that my friend would surely survive the departure of "the creature" from their nest. Yes, she was teary eyed a few times during our conversation but she quickly recovered and I could honestly say that it was not a put-on, she really is a brave woman. Her daughter is a survivor too, having been raised by my friend as an independent-minded child. I can surmise that they will be both okay, in due time.
As for "the creature" and his mistress (named Em), well I can just wish them both some luck. Even Cupid makes mistakes you know, and someday, Cupid's missus will certainly discover the mistake that Cupid has done and she will take away the love arrow from these two undeserving creatures, and what happens next? Well, even Darth Vader needs something to do to occupy his time. Perhaps he could practice his laser sword on these two creatures.....
My friend has been married for 9 years now (she prefers to use the term "was married"). She was in her early 30's when she got married. They met at work. She has always been the jolly type, the one whom I thought would stay single for the rest of her life as that was what she preferred then. But Cupid decided to fire his love arrow at my friend's heart, and she fell in love with this creature (duh, I can't even call him a man). I can still recall their afternoon wedding held in one of the gardens at then Nayong Pilipino. It was a very beautiful day, and not a few visitors shed tears as the couple promised to love one another "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do they part" while in the background, the sweet melody of Maureen McGovern's The Promise (I'll Never Say Goodbye) was being played. Cheesy me cried that time until I saw the photographer focusing on me and I smiled. :)
After more than a year, they were blessed with a baby girl. My friend continued to be a working mom, balancing personal life with a blossoming career in the corporate world. Through the years, I witnessed her joys of being a mom and wife. Let me emphasize "joys" because I never came to know of her experiencing any "pain" in her married life. We tried our best to meet as often as we could, together with our ex-boss, who has since retired from the office where we all met and became friends, more than 20 years ago. It was a joy to listen to her stories, and judging from her looks and her stories, I would say that she was fulfilled. After a few years in the corporate world, my friend decided to become a full time mom and wife. It was a decision that surprised me much, but then not many women could make such sacrifice. After all, his husband is gainfully employed, and in addition, they established a sub-contracting company complete with all-in-one hardware store. They have a joint bank account and my friend was wonderfully secure in the arms of "the creature".
The "mini-reunion" continued through the years, sometimes as often as every two months, and a few times, "the creature" joined us and I must say that I didn't even sense anything wrong with their relationship - until the day my friend sent me the text message.
Apparently, sometime in November 2008, "the creature" asked for some "space" in their relationship and told my friend that he needs counseling in order to make their marriage more solid. My friend gave him the "space" he needed, only for her to discover later that he seemingly had a different interpretation of the word "space". All his clothes were gone, together with all their savings in the bank. My friend was astonished - she found herself abandoned and almost broke. As expected, "the creature" came back sometime in December and they had a civil talk. "The creature" told my friend that he plans to stay with his family while undergoing counseling and my friend respected that decision. They both agreed for "the creature" to pick up their only child from home every Friday and spend the weekend with him.
It was from the child from whom my friend discovered that "the creature" was now into a new relationship. By then the mistress was staying over "the creature's" other house for a few days, with "the creature's" mother and siblings tolerating this arrangement. My friend's child blurted out the secret to my friend and cried her heart out and asked why her new "Tita" is very close to her dad and they're both "acting strange". The nerve! And my friend's child is only 7 years old, take note.
If Rambo could see my friend, he sure would have asked my friend to take part on his movie's sequel. If words could kill, then "the creature's" other house would have been ashes by now.
Three months later, my friend decided to open up to me and our ex-boss. By now, she's into a full-blown fight with the mistress, who has since gained much confidence basking in the so called glory of being chosen over the original wife. But the mistress should take heed, "basking" is only one letter different from "bashing", which is exactly what my friend is raring to do to that woman's head. But ever the "girlie" one, I could say that my friend would only do so if Hello Kitty (Japan) comes out with a baseball bat, pink edition.
After personally talking to my friend for hours and in the process gaining two pounds over a sumptuous meal of Norwegian salmon pasta and egg mayo sandwich from Delifrance, which we finished off with Four Seasons juice and then hopping off to a nearby coffee shop for a brownie and a cup of coffee, I can say that my friend would surely survive the departure of "the creature" from their nest. Yes, she was teary eyed a few times during our conversation but she quickly recovered and I could honestly say that it was not a put-on, she really is a brave woman. Her daughter is a survivor too, having been raised by my friend as an independent-minded child. I can surmise that they will be both okay, in due time.
As for "the creature" and his mistress (named Em), well I can just wish them both some luck. Even Cupid makes mistakes you know, and someday, Cupid's missus will certainly discover the mistake that Cupid has done and she will take away the love arrow from these two undeserving creatures, and what happens next? Well, even Darth Vader needs something to do to occupy his time. Perhaps he could practice his laser sword on these two creatures.....
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